Glad One_Crazy is a Relative Term by Margaret Lashley

Author:Margaret Lashley [Lashley, Margaret]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Margaret Lashley
Published: 2018-03-27T04:00:00+00:00

SHE TOLD ME HER NAME was Gladys, a dirt-poor Kentucky girl who’d escaped a life of farm labor by marrying a traveling revival preacher named Bobby.

“I used Bobby the way he used the Lord – as a ticket out of Nowheresville,” she said with a cackle. “After the weddin’ I spent the better part of a decade traveling the country with Bobby, pitching revival tents and per-tendin’ to be the perfect wife. Pious Patty, I called myself.”

“Why?” I asked, more out of Southern hospitality than curiosity.

Gladys shrugged and fortified herself with a slug of beer.

“I had to do somethin’ to cope with those dang church people and their mindless jabber over endless, Sunday-go-to-eatin’ buffets of tuna casserole, squash casserole, green-bean casserole and some kind of godawful dessert casserole they called a trifle.”

The old woman explained that back then, staying overnight in random parishioners’ homes was part and parcel to the life of a traveling preacher and his wife.

“Even over the dad-burn tedium of pot ‘piss out of luck’ dinners, I dreaded havin’ to stay in other people’s houses,” she said. “After a while, I just stashed myself away and per-tended to be what others expected. It was just easier that a way.”

“I know what you mean,” I said absently.

Gladys eyed me dubiously from behind her sunglasses.

“Do you, now? Well, I took it to a whole new level, kiddo. Even started watchin’ soap operas for acting tips, you know? But after a few years starrin’ in The Pious Patty Show, I was bored outta my gourd. That all ended one night in Hoboken when I got up to sneak a late-night smoke. Ran right into the husband of the house. One look at me in my nightgown caused that man to ‘revive’ somethin’ of his own, if you know what I mean.”

I was pretty sure I didn’t want to hear what came next. But I was powerless to stop the old lady. Gladys was barreling down memory lane in a Mack truck with no brakes....

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.